In this excerpt from his memoir “Alligator Tears,” Edgar Gomez reflects on his childhood insecurities about his teeth and his family's financial struggles. The narrative explores the impact of his new teeth on his self-esteem and social interactions, as well as coming to terms with his sexuality, and the conflicts that created with his family.
I looked like the real me, not that other, shame-filled version of me I’d been living as before. A startled giggle shot out of my mouth. Instinctively, I reached up to cover it with the back of my hand, but I stopped and lowered it halfway. I didn’t need to hide ever again.
I pointed at the best tooth, at the end of the slab, imagining it in my mouth and the doors it would open. With a full set like that, I could get any job, date anyone I wanted. Images of myself as a doctor or a lawyer flashed behind my eyes, clinking wineglasses with my husband in our tasteful brownstone in Manhattan, the two of us cracking up about the time I got kicked out of school and thought I’d ruined my future. I felt an awkward pull in my cheeks, the muscles contracting in a way I wasn’t used to. I couldn’t help it. I was smiling.